My 9-yr old daughter just told me this one.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

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I taught a wolf to meditate

Now it’s aware wolf

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Why didn’t the Mexican archer fire his bow?

He didn’t habanero

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I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes

it's all about raisin awareness

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

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I think Tumblr banning porn has already backfired

Now more of their users are getting off than ever.

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Had to explain what irony was to someone at church.

Apparently, "Being a carpenter and getting nailed to a wooden cross" isn't a good example.

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