"I'm going to become a vegan".
The other one says "me too"
The 1st one says " you do realise we have totally fucked up this joke now it won't be funny "
The other one says "yeh well that's vegans for you"
Thứ Sáu, 7 tháng 12, 2018
A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...
The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop disturbing the other passengers.
Irritated by this, the stranger nudges the redneck in his dirty boots, cowboy hat, and plaid shirt and said,
"Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger, and this cabin is full of a bunch of morons."
JimBob, who had just tilted his hat over his eyes to get some sleep, tilted it back up slowly and said to the stranger,
"Yeeahp i hear that, whatcha wana talk 'bout?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger who began to grin, because he was about to show this dumb redneck how much smarter he is "How about nuclear power?"
"Yeeahp. I dont much care for it" said JimBob.
"Ok" said the stranger "why dont you ask me a question, and if i can answer it you have to pay for my next drink, and if i cant then ill leave you alone to sleep"
JimBob considers for a moment, then says
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass - The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
After considering for a minute, Stranger says "Jeez, I have no idea."
"Well, then," said JimBob as he tilted his hat back down and leaned his seat back, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?
I’m a Developer. I Won’t Teach My Kids to Code, and Neither Should You.
I’m a Developer. I Won’t Teach My Kids to Code, and Neither Should You.
It's hard to teach the difference between merely executing steps, such as following a recipe, and doing something well. It can only be passed on through feel and experience.
December 7, 2018 at 01:12AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2GbYg5k
(At court) Me: Your honor, between the hours of 10 pm and 11 pm, I was having sex.
Judge: Who the hell are you? You are not even in this trial.
Me: I know. I just want it on the record.
Thứ Năm, 6 tháng 12, 2018
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. After having the beer, he asks the bartender for the bill. "$3", says the bartender.
The man just for fun goes on and places $1 coin on the three ends of the table. The bartender gives him a bad look but has no other option but to pick them up.
This happened for 3-4 days and everyday the bartender felt humiliated.
Next time, he orders a beer but couldn't find three $1 coins to pay the bill. So, he hands the bartender a $5 note. Now, the bartender gets all excited and thinks that it is his day to avenge the hard time he had because of this man. He then places the two $1 coins at the opposite ends of the table.
Now, with a shrewd smile and with all the excitement he goes to the man and says, "Go on, collect your change".
The man then takes out a $1 coin from his pocket and puts it in front of the bartender and says, "One more beer please."
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