She said, "That's a stupid name."
I said, "Now you're gestating the Obvious."...
Thứ Bảy, 8 tháng 12, 2018
Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated
One is a member of the Gestapo. One is an Imperial Japanese officer. And one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do when they get interrogated.
The German says, "My superior German spirit and intelligence will make it impossible for them to brake me."
The Japanese say, "It it only through my undying devotion to the Emperor that I will be able to withstand their torture."
The Italian says, "I'm fucked."
The German is the first to be interrogated, and as he leave they with...
How do you like them apples?
A guy sits down at the bar, and asks for a Rum & Coke
The bartender plops an apple in front of him.
"But I wanted a drink"
The bartender says "Just try it."
The guy bites into the apple, and says "Wow, this tastes just like rum!"
"Turn it around," says the bartender.
The guy bites into the other side of the apple and says "Wow, this tastes just like Coke. Amazing!"
Another guy sits down, orders a Gin & Tonic.
The bartender plops down an apple in front of him.
"I want a drink, not food"
The first guy says "Trust me, just taste it."
He...
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money....
A few days after Christmas,
a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come...
Thứ Sáu, 7 tháng 12, 2018
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