I just got banned from /r/fashion

Apparently they didn't like my threads...

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Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It’s my longest running joke of the year....

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After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."...

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It's amazing how Seasons work. I'm in Japan, it's mid December and I'm freezing...

But apparently back in the England it's the end of May....

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Why do norwegians put barcodes on their ships?

So when they dock, they can scandinavian....

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The meaning of life

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to...

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Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution was.

She said "Fuck you". So I'm pretty excited for 2019....

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