A Nun is very distraught...

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the...

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Before graduating to full priests, the candidates had to undergo

The cardinal test. To make sure that they would stick to the oath of celibacy, the graduating would be priests were all taken to a room and made to stand in a straight line and covered their eyes. The bishop tied a little Bell on their penises and then brought in a naked beautiful woman and one by one removed their eye coverings. None of the bells rang until the last priest of who once he saw the naked woman, the little Bell started ringing so furiously that it flew off and fell forward. Embarrassed, he went forward and bent over to pick up his...

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I have bought my wife a fridge for christmas.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it....

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Dr. Elon & Mr. Musk: Life Inside Tesla's Production Hell

Dr. Elon & Mr. Musk: Life Inside Tesla's Production Hell Sometimes Musk would terminate people; other times he would simply intimidate them. One manager had a name for these outbursts and had forbidden subordinates from walking too close to Musk's desk at the Gigafactory out of concern that a chance encounter might endanger a career. December 13, 2018 at 09:21PM via Digg https://ift.tt/2CaXu...

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A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck. The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.” The woman, astounded, thinks for a moment and says “age has taken its toll on me. I wish to be young and beautiful once more.” BAM! In a sudden flash the old woman emerged, a ravishing young woman. Thrilled by her success the woman says “genie I want to live a life of grandeur! To be rich!” BAM!...

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"Son, I found a pack of condoms in your room."

"Thanks Grandpa!" "Why did you call me Grandpa?" "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."...

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Its not anal bleaching

It's changing your ring tone...

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