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Thứ Sáu, 14 tháng 12, 2018

A racist man walks into a bar...

He sees a black man sitting casually at the side, and is disgusted by the sight of him.

He then waves to the bartender and says, "I'd like to order a beer for everyone here except the black guy."

As everyone else is treated to a beer, he looks back at the black man in hopes of getting a reaction out of him.

The black man still sits casually, this time with a smile on his face.

Confused and annoyed, the racist man waves again to the bartender and says, "another round for everyone except that same man."

As everyone else enjoys their second beer, the racist man looks back again at the black man, who is still smiling.

visibly angered, the racist man calls the bartender over a third time and orders a another round of beer for everyone except the black man.

He then looks at the black man one more time, and sees him laughing.

Furious, he rushes back to the bartender, points at the black man and asks, "Okay, what the hell is up with this guy?"

The bartender then replies, "Oh, you didn't know? He owns this place."

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail

But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.

Thứ Năm, 13 tháng 12, 2018

Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You son of a ........

2 pilots meet

300 people died

A man walks into a restaurant and notices Lobster tales for a cent on the menu.

He asks the waiter: "Why they are available so cheap? What's wrong with them?"

Waiter says, "Nothing, actually they've been bought here just today."

So the man orders some.

The waiter returns with a book, sits down and says, "Once upon a time, there was a big red lobster..."

A cowboy walks into a saloon and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"Nope." he replies. "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."