FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
The first act is a girl trying to tie a knot with a cherry stem in her mouth. She tries and tries, but she just cant do it.
A guy from the audience yells out, "Hey, maybe you should practice with my dick!" Most of the audience laughs.
The girl requests a microphone and a nearby teacher obliges. The girl says into the microphone, "I think I should get good with the cherry stem before I try anything smaller."
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied: ”He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
”Oh no, my dear” replies granny. ”Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring”.
”It was just the right rythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She pauses to wipe away a tear, and continued, ”He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”
A gay couple named Neal and Bob are traveling on a plane "What if we had sex?" asks Neal. "Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..." "Nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!" Neal stands up and asks loudly: "Could I have a pencil, please?" Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc. "They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bob. So Neal and Bob have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the stewardess sees an old man who threw up all over his shirt, even his pants are soaking in the filth. "Sir, you should've asked for a bag!" "I didn't dare" whispers the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass..."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all recently pregnant, are sitting together at the local bar, gossiping and talking about their lives.
When the subject of their pregnancies comes up, they all get exited, and begin speculating as to the sex of their children.
“I’m gonna have a boy” says the redhead.
After the other two ask how she knows, she explains that her child was conceived with her on top.
At this, the brunette exclaims “Well, I’m going to have a little girl! When we conceived her, I was on bottom.”
After a few moments of silence, the blonde breaks out in uncontrollable tears and begins to sob rather loudly.
After being comforted by her friends, the redhead asks “Whats wrong? Why are you crying?”
The blonde, still upset and wiping her eyes, proclaims “I’m gonna have puppies!”
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge."
"I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."