A threesome.
Thứ Ba, 15 tháng 1, 2019
One afternoon three women were out shopping with their three young kids.
One afternoon three women were out shopping with their three young kids. Before leaving, they happen to notice a fortune-teller shop across the mall. Two of the women thought it would be a fun way to end their outing while the third one was a bit more skeptical. After a moment of debating, they all agree to go in.
As they entered the shop they were greeted by the Miss Catarina.
- Miss Catarina: Welcome, my beautiful friends! I would like for you to join me on a wonderful adventure into your minds.
The two women were excited for the experience while the skeptical one rolled her eyes. Miss Catarina acknowledge the gesture.
- Miss Catarina: I see we have a disbeliever in the room. In what way would I be able to lessen your uncertainty?
Skeptical Woman: How about you start by guessing our names.
- Miss Catarina: And that is exactly what I will do! However, uncovering the names of you three would be way too simple for Miss Catarina. One may say I overheard you addressing each other during a recent debate about coming in here. (She says with a smirk)
The faces of the other two women were filled with amazement.
- Miss Catarina: I will predict the names of your children and explain some history behind why it was chosen!
Thinking that there could be no way that she would know, the skeptical woman agreed. Miss Catarina starts with the first two.
- Miss Catarina: Hello my little Princess, your name has to be Penelope!
The first woman was stun while Penelope looked to her mom confused.
- Miss Catarina: I see you are confused my child, but be no more. You would most likely recognize your name as Penny! It is short for Penelope! Do you know why your name is Penny? It’s because your mommy loves collecting money! All kinds of money! Old money, new money and even foreign money!
The first two women cheered while confirming that it is correct. The third woman was a bit shocked but still skeptical.
- Miss Catarina: It was nice meeting you, Penelope!
She then moves to the second child.
-
Miss Catarina: Hello my little Angel. You must be Lillian!
-
Lillian: Yes! But everyone calls me Lilly!
-
Miss Catarina: And I bet that is because your mommy loves flowers! All types of flowers! Wild flowers, house flowers and even exotic flower!
The two women confirmed with excitement! But now the skeptical woman is concern.
- Miss Catarina: It’s a pleasure meeting you, Lillian.
Saving the best for last, she walks over to the third child.
- Miss Catarina: And you my handsome Prince. Your name is the most fitting of all!
While feeling embarrassed, the skeptical woman cuts off Miss Catarina.
- Skeptical Woman: I’ve had enough! My son and I do not want to hear what you have to say! We’re leaving!
While looking at the sad little boy getting taken out the shop, Miss Catarina shouts to him.
- Miss Catarina: You have a wonderful day, Richard!
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I'm off to New York. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing her suitcase.
"Where are you going?" she asks.
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
Winter Comes To Winterfell
Winter Comes To Winterfell
We're not really sure what this all means (which is probably the point), but we're ready for it to be April 14.
January 14, 2019 at 09:05PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2M8Egjb
My dad first talked to me about sex when I was going to college.
He said, "Son, in college you're going to be surrounded by beautiful girls, so I got you something from the chemist."
"Dad," I said, "I have condoms."
And he said, "You won't need condoms, I got you some anti-depressants."
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