What’s The Difference Between A Pianist And A Pope.

The Pianist Doesn’t Get Arrested For Fingering A Minor

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A group of engineering students and their teacher were given free airplane tickets to go on a holiday

Once on the plane, the captain announced that they were on the plane the students had built. Everyone freaked and rushed out of the plane, except for the teacher who stayed there with calm. When the flight attendant asked why he hadn't left, he responded " I know the abilities of my students. This shit won't even start".

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My instructor just told me that I’m not cut out to be a mime

It must have been something I said

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A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror!

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces

My next shit could spell disaster

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I don't understand the point of threesomes.

If I want to disappoint two people, I can just have dinner with my parents.

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What is the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly

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