My wife apologised for the first time today.

She said she was sorry she ever married me.

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Why did Tencent invest $150 million in Reddit?

[censored]

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A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can even pistol whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.”

Thief: “You must really love your wife!”

Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.

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Having gay parents must be terrible

Either you have twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an endless loop of "go ask your mother"

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David Hasselhoff walked into a bar

and ordered a drink.

“Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff,” said the bartender.

“Just call me Hoff,” the actor replied.

“Sure,” the bartender said, “no hassle.”

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I finally got someone to be my valentine!

I wish I could post this in any other sub.

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After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt.

Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.

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