sapnu puas
Thứ Tư, 13 tháng 2, 2019
When I die, I have but 2 requests.
The first, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland.
The second, I don’t want to be cremated.
A farmer is being interviewed on TV about his prize-winning cows.
The interviewer asks, "So tell us, what are you feeding these cows?"
"The black ones or the white ones?" the farmer replies.
"Uh... the black ones."
"Oh," says the farmer, "I feed them grass."
"Ok then, what about the white ones?"
"I feed them grass, too" the farmer replies.
"Okay...well, what about bathing? What do you bathe them with?" the interviewer asks.
"The black ones or the white ones?"
The interviewer hesitates, but answers "the black ones".
"I bathe them with water," the farmer replies.
"And what about the white ones?" the interviewer asks.
"I bathe them with water, too" says the farmer.
"Okay, I'm confused, what's going on here?" says the interviewer. "You keep distinguishing between the white and black cows. Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh," says the farmer, "that's because the black cows are mine."
"Oh!" laughs the interviewer with relief. "Then who owns the white ones?"
"Those are mine, too".
Thứ Ba, 12 tháng 2, 2019
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)