Parceltongue
Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 2, 2019
Once a man decided to worship a Celtic god of good fortune named Sucellus.
(This particular god carries a large hammer) Since nobody has worshipped him for millennia, the God was pleased and decided to appear before the man.
God: You mortals have forgotten me for so long. I am very flattered that you thought to worship me. For that I will grant you three wishes.
Man: What?! Just three? I want at least 10 wishes.
God: Are you mad, mortal? Have you forgotten your place? I am offering you three, take it or leave it.
Man: Ok, I'll take three but you have to give me your word. You can't backtrack on any of these.
God: Do you doubt my power? I can do anything. Of course I won't backtrack. I give you my word.
Man: First wish, I wish that the hammer in your hand would turn into a stick.
God: (laughing) You really are insane. All the things in the whole world and you wish for this?? Ok whatever, here you go.
Hammer turns into stick.
Man: Now I wish that you put that stick up your arse.
God: (furiously) What?!! How dare you ask for such a thing.
Man:You gave me your word. This is my second wish. You have to do it.
God: (hesitantly) Ok fine.
Puts the stick up his arse.
Man: Now dear Sucellus, are you giving me my ten wishes or you want me to turn that stick back into hammer again.
Mountains Bigger Than Everest May Lie Deep Inside Earth
Mountains Bigger Than Everest May Lie Deep Inside Earth
Scientists used the second largest earthquake on record to glimpse the terrain 410 miles under our planet's surface.
February 15, 2019 at 10:02PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2N6fDnE
A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”
The wife gets up slowly looking startled but slightly excited. She wanders into the kitchen and comes back quickly with a beer and some food for her husband.
The man gulps down the beer and looks back to his wife “quick!” He says “get me another beer before it starts!” The man goes back to flicking channels and stuffing food in his mouth.
The wife stands up, obviously angry at her husband. And turn the TV off.
“Now you look here! You come home late, don’t even say hello, don’t explain why you were late either! I bet you were with that harlot from work again wasn’t you? You said it was over, how could you do this to me! I cook for you, clean for you, and all you do is treat me like a slave! My mother was right about you! I even….
The man lays back on the couch, his eyes glaze over and he zones out. “Damn” he mutters to himself, “it’s started”.
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