A Cop Saw a Car in the Ditch.

A police officer was driving down the road when he saw a car in the ditch.

The crash appeared to pretty bad so he took a close look, when he got to the car and looked inside he saw an entire dead family. The husband, the wife, two kids, and a monkey.

He asks the monkey, not expecting much, what had happened. The monkey responds with a gesture of crashing. So he asks further.

“What was the Father doing?” The monkey scratches his head, nods and does a drinking gesture.

“Oh so he was drinking?” The monkey nods his head excitedly.

The officer asks, “what was the Mother doing?” The monkey thinks for a moment, and does a mouth talking gesture.

“Bitching?” The cop guessed. The monkey with a smile nods his head in excitement.

The cop looks in the back and asks. “What were the kids doing?” The monkey thinks a moment and starts hitting the air.

“So they were fighting?” The monkey nods his head.

Then the officer asked, “What were you doing?”

Without hesitation the monkey smiles making a steering wheel gesture.

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My Teenage Rebellion Was Fundamentalist Christianity

My Teenage Rebellion Was Fundamentalist Christianity
While other girls my age were sneaking off with boys and getting drunk, I was becoming a zealot—and trying to convert my parents.

February 18, 2019 at 09:05PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2GPPGHY

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I once won a fight that was five against one.

We really kicked the shit out of that guy.

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My friend can’t afford to pay his water bill anymore.

So I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump

I said: “Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

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I know now why Trump wants to build a wall

It's been years since he managed to erect anything

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Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips? This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.

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