15 People On How A Financial Windfall Changed Their Lives

15 People On How A Financial Windfall Changed Their Lives
Topic asked over a dozen people how gifts, insurance payouts, the MacArthur Genius Award, book deals — ranging from $8,000 to over $1 million — were spent.

February 20, 2019 at 02:20AM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2IoRLx0

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My wife asked if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

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I buy my guns from a guy called T-Rex

He’s a small arms dealer.

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So there was this assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet.

A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, "Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?"

"Yup."

"What if you miss?"

He looks at the man, deadly serious. "I don't miss..."

"Okay, well I've got $20,000. I just found out my wife is having an affair with my best friend. They're at the motel together right now."

"Let's go," the assassin says.

So they drive to a store across the street from the motel and climb up on the roof. The assassin takes out his rifle and attaches the scope.

"They're in room 21. I want you to shoot her in the head, and I want you to blow his dick off."

The assassin looks through his scope. He keeps staring for several minutes, not taking the shot.

"Well? What are you waiting for!?" the husband asks.

"Hold on a minute," said the assassin, "I might be able to save you $10k."

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

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In class we learned that last names were determined by what your ancestors did

So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson

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I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

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