If you c*nsor anything in a post, you are requ*red to put th* omitted vowels at the end, *n a footnote.

Old Macd*nald had a farm.

*eieio

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Did you know that Diarrhea is genetic?

It runs in the jeans

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What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?

One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

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As a person who has owned over 50 dogs in their life there are 2 thing I’ve learnt...

1.) Your time with them Is brief so treasure it.

2.) They LOVE chocolate.

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Inside Elizabeth Holmes's Chilling Final Months At Theranos

Inside Elizabeth Holmes's Chilling Final Months At Theranos
At the end, Theranos was overrun by a dog defecating in the boardroom, nearly a dozen law firms on retainer and a CEO grinning through her teeth about an implausible turnaround.

February 21, 2019 at 11:23PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2XgwPeX

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If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on...

...I’d be like “why do I keep getting all these fucking nickels?”

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I pretend to be gay in order to gain the trust of women I like.

I listen to their problems, I learn about color matching and fashion so that I can go shopping with them, I ask them about their feelings, etc. The whole thing.

Once they trust me, I wait patiently and the moment they let their guard down, BAM! I fuck their boyfriends.

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