So i used my loyalty card but could only get 10% off
Thứ Bảy, 23 tháng 2, 2019
Old Turkish joke
One day Temel, the truck driver, while driving down a hill realizes that his brakes are not working. The truck is going faster and faster, until he reaches an intersection.
Temel looks around.
On his right, there is a child; on his left, there is a bazaar with more than 100 people. As a “clever” man, Temel chooses to drive towards the child instead of the bazaar. However, the next day, newspaper headlines read “TEMEL DROVE HIS TRUCK INTO THE BAZAAR, 40 KILLED, 35 INJURED”.
They ask Temel: “How come you commit such an act?”
Temel answers: “Everything happened when the child started to run towards the bazaar”.
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.The man replied..."Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..... “it was then that I.... lost it”
A Winter War joke
A Soviet army is marching through a Finnish forest when a general hears a voice from over a hill shout: "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"
The general promptly send 10 soldiers to root out the voice, there is gunfire, and then silence.
After a few minutes, the voice shouts defiantly: "One Finnish soldier is better than a hundred Soviet soldiers!!"
The general sends a hundred men to remove the nuisance, there is a racket of gunfire, and then quiet.
The voice crys out loudly once more: "One Finnish soldier is better than a thousand Soviet soldiers!!"
Enraged, the general sends a thousand men charging over the hilltop to shut up that voice once and for all, an epic battle rages, and then quiet. After a few minutes, a gravely wounded Soviet crawls back over the hill and crys:
"It's a trap! There are two Finnish soldiers!!"
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