Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

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Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

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Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

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Chủ Nhật, 3 tháng 3, 2019

I never say the N-word in my house. Even when Im alone.

Just in case a black person is breaking in. I wouldn’t want to offend them.

A kid asks his mom:

  • Mom, what’s dark humor?
  • Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap
  • Mom! I'm blind....
  • Exactly.

My Lesbian neighbors Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.

They said they wouldn’t mind if we did it the “old fashioned way” as they weren't man haters!

For six months now we’ve been trying but I just don’t have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"

Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."

"There is no band on this ship."

"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

There was a king with a beautiful virgin daughter

The king ruled a wealthy and massive kingdom, but he was obsessed with keeping his daughter a virgin. He had a device planted into her vagina that would chop off anything inserted into it.

He then called in his 3 best knights and told them that he would be off on a trip and that they would be protecting the princess. He warned them not to touch her.

When he returned, he called the 3 knights in.

He told the first knight to drop his pants. He did so, and his penis was gone. The king ordered him executed.

He then told the second knight to drop his pants. He did so, and his penis was gone. The king ordered him executed.

He finally told the third knight to drop his pants. He did so, and his penis was in place!

The king said, "Good knight, you have proven yourself to be loyal and true! Name your reward and it shall be granted!"

The knight said: "Eywanmytonbac!"

If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex...

Is it fair to say his addiction is getting out of hand?

My ex called me angrily and said, “Are you fucking stupid?”

I said, “No. I used to, but we broke up, remember?”