The bartender asks, “how did you do that?”
Thứ Ba, 5 tháng 3, 2019
A lady died and went to heaven, upon seeing God she says “there is one this I always wanted to know. “
“Ok, ask away” God said.
“Do vaccines cause autism?” She asked.
“the truth is no, vaccines have nothing to do with autism” God admitted.
The women shakes her head and says “They got to you too, this thing really goes high up.”
The Tinder Swindler
The Tinder Swindler
He has seduced and swindled young women for millions and is a fugitive from justice in several countries. Norwegian paper VG tracked him down.
March 4, 2019 at 11:28PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2VAo8KO
Three people die and appear before Buddha
Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.
-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.
One of the people takes a step forward and speaks, seemingly troubled.
-Benevolent Buddha, what more could I possibly do in my next life? I thought I lived and acted to the fullest. Because of my work almost the entirety of the earth's population will never starve.
-My work was also to the extend of my abilities, says the 2nd one. Right now, the world I leave behind enters a revolutionary era were medicines can cure anything, such was my contribution.
-My connections in life pushed all countries into an agreement of indefinite world peace, says the 3rd person.
-I know all of your actions well. But that is still not enough. Here, let me show you a true example of someone who achieved everything that I ask for. They are waiting for the perfect reincarnation.
The three people now both curious and excited follow Buddha to a small building. Their jaws drop when they find just an ordinary person inside. So ordinary that not even a small detail on that person sparks the tiniest interest. Before the Buddha can say anything else they all rush towards him.
-Impossible, yells the 1st person! Such a plain human being! You! What was your work during your earthly life?
-Who? M-me? I only had two part time jobs, nothing else that I can remember. During the morning hours I worked in a small plantation. Fruits and vegetables.
-You're joking! shouts the 2nd person. And the second job?
-Oh...that one was a bit odd. My village had a signboard were people would post their ads, job offers etc. But because the signboard was old, those would sometimes come off. My job was to put them back in their place.
-This is preposterous, yells the 3rd person! How could you possibly have amassed such an amount of karma with just those two insignificant jobs of yours?
-W-well, I don't know what to tell you. But I've really done nothing else, just farming and reposting.
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