A lip reader
Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 3, 2019
Christchurch shooting: multiple fatalities after mass shooting at two mosques – live updates
Christchurch shooting: multiple fatalities after mass shooting at two mosques – live updates
Three people in custody over mass shootings that also left 20 people seriously injured.
March 15, 2019 at 06:59PM
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Walking through the forest, an atheist hears a rustling in the bushes. Turning, he sees a massive grizzly charging towards him!
He runs as fast as he can but trips over a stump and falls. As the bear raises a huge paw to strike, the atheist screams: "God! Help me!"
Time freezes. The bear becomes immobile, the forest is silent, and the river stops running. Then the atheist hears a powerful voice: "You have denied my existence for years, taught others I don’t exist and credited my creation to a cosmic accident. Why should I help you?"
"It would be hypocritical to ask you to show mercy on me," the atheist agrees. "But perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
At that, the noise of the forest resumes, the river runs, and the bear drops to its knees, brings its paws together, and says, "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
The CIA,The FBI and the KGB
The CIA, the FBI and the KGB argue about who’s the best at catching criminals.
The Secretary General of the UN decides to test them. He releases a rabbit into the woods and each of the divisions has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits don’t exist.
The FBI goes in next. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest to the ground, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. That rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in last. They come out a few hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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