My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

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There’s plenty of Jobs in porn when you have a penis like mine

Cameraman, Lighting, sound technician even production manager.

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Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed?

How could anyone stoop so low??

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Two blind pilots enter a plane.

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.

In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die."

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During my prostate exam, my doctor told me it’s perfectly normal to become aroused and even ejaculate.

That being said, I still wish he hadn’t.

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Guy Shows His Mom And Grandma Tesla's

Guy Shows His Mom And Grandma Tesla's 
Automated parking is cool (who likes parking, anyway?), but we're really here for the reaction from comedian and singer Lil Duval's mom.

March 20, 2019 at 10:20PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2Cq7tT2

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Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts meeting

I see a lot of new faces today.

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