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Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 4, 2019

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"

Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."

This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"

Thank God I don’t have to hunt for food....

I don’t even know where tacos live

People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian.

Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

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I was really bored, so I decided to memorize six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

I started to let Jesus take the wheel, but then I remembered...

that motherfucker ain’t afraid to die.

I just learned the medical name for Viagra.

Mycoxaflopin