I guess hes jew-ish
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 4, 2019
I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, "Don't eat anything fatty."
I said, "What - no bacon or sausages or burgers or anything?"
He said, "No fatty, just don't eat anything."
Received a call from a female recruitment consultant.
She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!
I replied : Yes. I know 😊
There was a long silence and then she said:- asshole
I replied:- I prefer the other one...
Edit: Thank you for silver. Woohoo!
Thứ Năm, 25 tháng 4, 2019
What did the retiring domintrix say to her replacement?
"I'll show you the ropes."
(I just thought of this joke. I'm sure it's been made before, sorry.)
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off..
I said : son, that’s the fourth school this year.
Maybe teaching in an elementary school isnt for you
Guess my age....
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
‘About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is weak. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you in the queue at McDonalds’.
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)