Ok now that all the nerds are gone, I'm throwing an epic party at my house tomorrow and you're all invited!
Thứ Ba, 30 tháng 4, 2019
My wife put on a sexy cop outfit..
My wife put on a sexy cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a quick trial I was released due to lack of evidence.
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.
“Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied (crying), "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'Ima eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
A lawyer was walking down the street...
When he spotted a woman with spectacular breasts. He immediately offered her $100 if she would let him bite them. “No way!” She exclaimed “What about for $1000?” He persisted “No certainly not what kind of woman do you think I am?” “You wouldn’t even do it for $10,000,” he asked. The woman was astounded. “You’ll pay me $10,000 if I let you bite my breasts?” “That’s correct.” “Okay let’s go over to that alley.” Once in the alley she took off her blouse and the lawyer felt them, kissed them, and sucked them. She was beginning to get impatient. “Are you gonna bite them or what?” she snapped. “No,” he said “too expensive”
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)