Meet The Mammoni
He works all day; she does his laundry and gets dinner on the table every night. Why Italian men are happy to live with their mothers well into their 30s.
May 1, 2019 at 09:50PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2GUbIIa
Thứ Năm, 2 tháng 5, 2019
Meet The Mammoni
Meet The Mammoni
He works all day; she does his laundry and gets dinner on the table every night. Why Italian men are happy to live with their mothers well into their 30s.
May 1, 2019 at 09:50PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2GUbIIa
I, being an Irish Catholic, decided it was time to cleanse my soul.
I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.
Inside, I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
When the priest came in, I said to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."
Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 5, 2019
Caught Skinny Dipping
A priest and a rabbi are good friends and one night they get talking about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden. The conversation leads them to try skinny dipping and under the light of the moon, they find themselves in swimming in a lake with their clothes hung from a tree. A car pulls up right next to the tree and two couples get out. One couple are parishoners of the Priest's, the other of the Rabbi's. They can't go for their clothes, so they both run off naked, the priest using his hands to cover his penis, looks over and sees the rabbi covering his face. "What are you doing?" he asks. The rabbi responds, "In my congregation, they recognize my face."
After years of being plagued by extreme headaches,
Disclaimer: English isn't my main language, there might be some mistakes here and there
Jim finally went to see a doctor. After a lot of researching, the doctor said: "I have good news, but I also have bad news."
The good news is that I have found a cure for your extreme headaches. The bad news is that your testicles put so much pressure on your spine, that it can cause extreme headaches.
The only thing I can do is castrate you, to relieve your spine from the pressure." Jim was shocked, and became depressed. He didn't know what to do. A life without sex was not very attractive, but he didn't like his life anyways with these headaches. He decided to castrate himself.
When he walked out of the hospital without his testicles, and for the first time in twenty years wasn't plagued by the extreme headaches, he felt like a completely different person. To celebrate this, he decided to buy a new suit in an expensive store. When he walked in, he told an old seller that he was looking for a new suit. The seller told him: 'I see that youe need size 44.' Amazed looked Jim at the seller and said: "How do you know?" "Oh sir, I've been in this business for 40 years, and I have a very good view on it."
Jim fitted the suit and looked in the mirror. The suit looked stunning on him. "You of course need a nice shirt in combination with that suit". The seller told him. Jim agreed. The seller said: "You have size 34 from sleeves and 16 from neck." "I'm amazed how you can just see it without measuring", said Jim.
"Oh sir, it's really not that hard after 40 years". Jim fitted the shirt, and it also stood great on him. "While we're at it," said Jim, "Why don't we go look for some new shoes?"
The seller looked at him and said: "Size 44, isn't it?" Again was Jim amazed. After they chose the right shoes, the seller said to Jim: "Of course you want new underwear too?"
He looked at Jim's waist, and said: "Size 36, right?" Jim said a bit triumphant: "Nope, this time you're wrong, I always wear size 34!"
The seller shaked his head and said: "You should 100% not do that. Size 34 is too tight for you, and pushes your testicles right against your spine, something that can cause extreme headaches!"
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