I keep asking what LGBT stands for...

But I'm not getting any straight answers

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A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the password has to be at least 5 characters and have a capital"

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I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

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How can you tell a construction worker from a chemist?

You ask him to pronounce “Unionized“

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts

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Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans?

Because anymore and it'd be too farty.

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Why don’t you see many Mexican hockey players?

They try to avoid ICE at all costs.

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