Turns out they were cold sores.
Thứ Ba, 21 tháng 5, 2019
My crush just messaged me
"thespacebuttonisbrokenonmylaptop.canyougivemeanalternative"
Does anyone know what "ternative" means?
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
[Credit to Milton Berle]
[Credit and many thanks for the gold to an "anonymous redditor," namely u/Blake88fair]
Sven and Ole are asked to identify a body. (Sad to discover after Googling that this will be a repost, but I was recently told this by my 86 y/o Wisconsinite grandmother and wanted to share.)
So Sven and Ole get a sad call to lean that their good friends, Anders, has passed away and they need to identify the body.
When they get to the morgue, Sven goes in first. The doctor uncovers the body and Sven says, “Aww gee, that sure looks like Anders...could ya flip him over and spread his butt cheeks?” The doctor is confused, but grants the request. Instantly Sven says, “Ah nope. That ain’t Anders.”
The doctor then calls Ole into the room and presents the body. Ole pauses for a moment and says, “Gosh. That sure does look like him...flip ‘em over and spread his butt cheeks.” The doctor obliges again and Ole shakes his head with conviction. “Yeah-No. That ain’t Anders.”
The doctor calls Sven back into the room and says. “Now look here, boys. We know this is Anders and just need a positive I.D. Why are ya both sayin’ this ain’t him?”
Ole looks at Sven, then back to the doctor and says, “Well doc, whenever we was going around as the three of us folks would always say, ‘Ay here comes Anders with those two assholes.’ And this guy’s only got one.”
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