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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Bảy, 25 tháng 5, 2019

Don't believe everything you hear

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Cowra.

We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule'."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees !

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

{ I love this part }...

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

MORAL : When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you'll know which half !!!

My wife said if this post gets 100 upvotes, she’ll lose her anal virginity tonight.

Please don’t upvote, she’s on a business trip until next week.

I think it’s a good idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

Man Posts On Craigslist Saying He's Found A Lost Cat, Turns Out It's A Wild Bobcat


Man Posts On Craigslist Saying He's Found A Lost Cat, Turns Out It's A Wild Bobcat
Kudos to the man for being kind and to other users on Craigslist for pointing out that he had invited the wrong kind of cat into his house.

May 24, 2019 at 10:30PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2YKHSgf

Girl's confession to a priest

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees

I think he's a keeper

I made a 1:1000 000 scale model german submarine

it's a pretty good μ-boat