But now I always seem to punch up the fuckline.
Thứ Bảy, 25 tháng 5, 2019
Thứ Sáu, 24 tháng 5, 2019
A Mormon and Irishman are on a plane
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
“Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes,” she yelled to her lover. “And jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there.
If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both, she replied.
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window.
As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could.
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh yes” he replied, gasping in air.
Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” he answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Only if it’s raining.”
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