It was the most annoying sex i’ve ever had
Thứ Sáu, 31 tháng 5, 2019
Wendy was dared by her male classmate to climb to the top of the school’s flagpole
She bets him an ice cream that she can and he agrees. She climbs all the way to the top and gets ice cream. Upon reaching home, she bragged to her mom, feeling proud about what she did.
“Oh, Wendy. You do know that he just wanted you to climb the pole so he could see your underwear.” She says, shaking her head in disapproval.
A little wiser she returns to school the next day. This time the boy offers her two ice creams to climb the pole. She thought that it was an easy win for her so once again, she climbed to the top of the flagpole.
Again, after school ended and she returned home she once again bragged her mom who was a little more disturbed than the day before. “But, Wendy. Do you remember what I said last time? He’s just trying to see your underwear.”
Wendy grinned slyly and responded “I know that, that’s why I didn’t wear any underwear today.”
Thứ Năm, 30 tháng 5, 2019
Two women had been having a friendly lunch, when the subject turned to sex. “You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems." Linda told her friend. “That’s amazing!” Mary replied. “So have Tom and I."
"We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist." said Linda.
“Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!” responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?”
Several weeks passed and the two friends met for lunch again.
“So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?” Mary asked.
“Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam and afterward, the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every a grape went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it’s better than it’s ever been!”
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist.
After the physical exams were completed, the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office.
“I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you.” he said.
“But doctor!” Mary complained. “You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can’t you give us some help? Any help at all?”
“Well, OK.” the doctor answered. “On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios.”
A Proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar...
A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers. The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer. He then says to neutron while giving him the second beer, “For you, no charge.” He then proceeded to throw the last beer into Heliem’s face. Helium didn’t react.
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