Source: Wikipedia
Thứ Bảy, 1 tháng 6, 2019
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she'd been stood up.
Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV.
No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang.
There stood her date.
He took one look at her and said "I'm two hours late, and you're still not ready?"
A man decides to buy two horses. When he brought them home he realized he needed some way to tell them apart .
So he called his neighbor to help out. The neighbor said "You know, you could just snip a little bit of one horse's tail and leave the other one's intact, that way you can tell them apart by the length of the tail". The man liked that idea and he took some scissors and snipped a bit of the first horse's tail. But the horse recoiled in pain and in a frenzy bit off the tip of the second horse's tail. Now they both had shortened tails. The two men looked and the neighbor got another idea: "If you just snip a bit of the first one's ear, you could tell them apart that way". So the man took his scissors and snipped a little part of the first horse's left ear but of course he began trashing around and in a frenzy bit off a small part of the other horse's left ear. The two men were really annoyed, but they wouldn't give up. "Alright, do the other ear, you could still tell them apart that way". But sure as hell, as the man snipped the first horse's other ear, he trashed around in pain and bit off a bit of the second horse's ear. They now both had snipped ears and tail. As the two men looked intensely for ideas, the neighbour said: "Well you know, I think you could tell them apart by height. The brown one is a bit taller than the white one"
Them: what did you major in? Me: calligraphy
Them: why did you get such a useless degree?
Me: it was cheaper than an mba from from Harvard.
Them: so ? It’s a worthless degree, you would have made more money if you showed up to a job interview with a degree from Harvard.
Me: look, I can show up to a job interview with a degree from any school I want now...
Obama and Trump are at a barbershop
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. Trump was quick to stop him, saying:
“No thanks, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Obama and said: “How about you, Mr. Obama?
Obama replied, “Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
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