What’s the difference between a black dad and a boomerang?

One is an inanimate object you fucking racist.

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Before going to bed, a little child asks his dad a question.

"Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'once upon a time'"?

The dad responds, saying "No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected, I promise...'"

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An F-15 pilot was assigned to escort an aged B-52 Bomber

Being a bit bored he started executing loops and rolls, never worried about being able to catch up to his lumbering charge. He got on the radio to boast to the BUFF pilot.

"Ha! Anything you can do, I can do better!"

The bomber pilot replies, "Oh, yeah? Let's see you do this!" and keeps flying straight and level.

The fighter jock asks, "Um... What did you do?"

The B-52 pilot says, "I just shut down two engines."

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Serve alcohol at a party, nobody bats an eye

Serve laxatives at a party and everybody loses their shit

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A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith...

...for advice about enlarging her breasts.

He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the tip of your breasts and say, "Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies."

She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so right in the middle of the bus--"Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?"

"Why, yes, I do. How did you know?"

"Hickory dickory dock."

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It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money.

You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.

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Doctor : We had to remove your colon.

Me Why?

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