"Where's the fucking manager you cock-sucker?"
The host is surprised and replies, "Excuse me, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."
The manager comes over and the dude asks, "Are you the fucking manager of this shit joint?"
"Yes, sir, I am," replies the manager, "and I would prefer it if you could refrain from swearing in this restaurant."
"Fuck off!" replies the dude. "And where's the fucking piano?"
"What?" says the manager.
"Fucking deaf are we? You little piece of shit, show me your fucking piano."
"Oh, you're here for the pianist job. Can you play any blues?" says the manager showing the dude the piano.
"Of course I fucking can," and the guy plays the most inspiring and beautiful blues that the manager has ever heard.
"That's good, what's it called?"
"I want to fuck your wife on the couch but the springs keep hurting my balls," replies the pianist.
The manager is disturbed but asks if he knows jazz. So he proceeds to play the best jazz solo the manager has ever heard. "Great!" cries the manager. "What's it called?"
"I wanted to fuck your daughter but she's still at school."
The manager gets angry but asks if he knows any ballads, he then plays the most heartbreaking melody.
"And what's this called?" asks the manager.
"As I fuck her under the stars, the moonlight shines off her hairy pussy," he replies.
The manager is upset but offers him the job if he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers. This arrangement works well for a little bit, until one night, sitting opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde the dude has ever seen. She's wearing a see through dress and her tits are falling out the top. She is sitting there with her legs wide open, staring at him. It's too much for him so he runs off to the restroom to yank one out.
He's pulling away furiously when he hears the manager yell "Where's that pianist!?" He just has time to cum and then he runs back to the piano, not having bothered to adjust himself right, sits down and starts playing his music.
The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear: "Do you know your cock is hanging out of your pants and dripping jizz on your shoes?"
"Know it," he replies, "I fucking wrote it!"
