I was in a field and this farmer came up to me and said " I got 68 sheep can you round them up for me ?"...

I said "Sure 70" ...

Read More

Braves Fan Stretches Out To Catch A Freshly Grand Slam'd Ball

Braves Fan Stretches Out To Catch A Freshly Grand Slam'd Ball
This the peak baseball fan experience.

June 12, 2019 at 12:52AM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2WxvmUV

Read More

Why does Waldo wear striped clothes?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

Read More

NSFW While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."

Read More

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…

But I refused.

If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Read More

90% of people are unable to solve this riddle by guessing the opposite of each word.

Always

​

Coming

​

From

​

Take

​

Me

​

Down

Read More

I’m coming

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I," then at his knee, meaning, "need," and he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw." The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate. The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!'' The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''

Read More