She responds: “see that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “but mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Thứ Năm, 27 tháng 6, 2019
In the year 2000, Putin was elected President of Russia...
The night after he was sworn into office, Vladimir Putin had a dream. In it, he stood in a long, elegant hall, and was surrounded by all of the great leaders of Russia, from Ivan the Terrible to Boris Yeltsin. Looking around at them all, he eventually bows his head and says:
"Great rulers of Russia, I seek your wisdom in our country's time of need. How should I lead it to greater prosperity?"
The leaders all turn, looking towards a shorter man towards the front: Joseph Stalin. He steps forward, and says to Putin:
"Here are the two things that you must do. First, gather up all the Democrat politicians and have them shot. Second, paint the outside of the Kremlin blue."
Putin looks back at Stalin, incredulously. "Blue?! Why would I paint the Kremlin blue?"
Stalin cracks a smile, and then howls with laughter. Turning towards the rest of the men, he proudly proclaims, "See? I told you he wouldn't ask about the first one!"
I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bike
I bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break, so I drank all the whiskey before I cycled home. It turned out to be a good decision because I fell off my bike seven times on the way home. Imagine what would've happened to the bottle.
A man is walking in the woods when he finds a suitcase.
He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes. So he calles emergency services and says
"I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?"
"Well," the operator said, "Are they moving?"
"I don't know," he said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo...
A sign says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age”
The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps it’s foot 6 times.
“Wow” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”
The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun...
A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice...
“Bajaysus that’s right” said the father, “I am farty two!”
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)