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Thứ Hai, 1 tháng 7, 2019

My wife is mad at me, says I have no sense of direction...

So I packed all my bags and right.

Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: holding a cup Do it to my tea!

Magician: waves hand Done!

om: holding a cup It didn't work

What's something that everyone in Alabama has in common?

DNA

A cockroach can survive a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly

This shows how toxic the media is

I am suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

What do you call a priest that’s also a lawyer?

A father in law

A Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist all die

A Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist all day the same day. They all approach the pearly gates where St. Peter awaits them. St. Peter calls the first man up and asks what religion he is.

“I’m a Christian” says the first man.

“Very well, continue on and you will be in room 16, just be really quiet near room 8” said St. Peter

The next man walks up and St. Peter asks what religion he was.

“I am a Muslim” says the man

“Very well, you will be in room 29, just be very quiet around room 8” replies St. Peter

The third and final man walks forth and St. Peter again asks what religion he was.

“I am an Atheist” answers the man

“Very well, you will be in Room 56, just be very quiet around room 8” says St. Peter

The man asks, “If I may, why must I be quiet around room 8?”

St. Peter replies, “Room 8 is where the Catholics are, and they think they’re the only ones here”