Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Funny Video

Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

Funny Picture

Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

Funny Game

Play game and comfortable :)

Funny Funny

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Thứ Hai, 15 tháng 7, 2019

Pete Buttigieg's Life In The Closet


Pete Buttigieg's Life In The Closet
And why it took him until he was 33 to come out.

July 15, 2019 at 06:01AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2LOIhv7

Without Arabs we wouldn't have 9/11.

We'd have IX/XI instead.

I don’t know why marvel hasn’t tried to advertise on the hulk.

He’s a giant banner after all.

The most offensive thing as a black man is when you walkin down the street and an old white lady clutches her purse...

 

 

...this bitch really think she stronger than me.

A man walked into a bar on the 100th floor of a building, chugged a pint, then jumped out of an open window.

Ten minutes later, with no injuries, he ran back into the bar, chugged a pint, then jumped out of the same window.

When he returned ten minutes later, a man asked him how he survived.

“You see, alcohol makes you warmer and heat rises. So if you chug a pint really quickly then concentrate really hard as you fall, you temporarily float just before you hit the ground.”

The man was so amazed that he too chugged a pint even faster than the other man, then jumped out of the window. He fell and fell and fell... and then landed on the ground with a splat. He died instantly.

The bartender then turned to the man in the bar and said, “You’re such a dick when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

Chủ Nhật, 14 tháng 7, 2019

An interview with a vampire

An interview with a vampire.

Interviewer: Voad, You have been living for the last 5000 years, in almost every country on the planet. You have seen rulers come and go, empires rise and fall. Please, tell me what you have done to occupy yourself during this time.

Voad: Well, I have taken part in many activities to pass the time. Through subtle influence, I have bought monarchs to the throne, and ended the span of tyrannical leaders. I have replaced chaos with order, and then installed chaos back in its place. But in recent years, I have taken great pleasure in the mundane. The every day. The boring.

I: Please, tell me more about the recent years.

V: I have taken my place in society, tried to give back to a world that has given me so much by fulfilling some tasks that others would not. I have rid the planet of a number of diseases by removing their carriers. I have stopped wars before they started. But most recently, it has been a more direct approach. Sweeping the streets, emptying bins. My current role has been the most surprising.

I: And what are you doing currently that is so surprising?

V: Well, cleaning. It gives me great pleasure. Sweeping, dusting, mopping. All of it. I am enjoying this more than anything else I have done. And one aspect has been a massive surprise to me.

I: Really?

V: Yes. Cleaning mirrors. It’s just not a job that I ever saw myself doing.