She placed 1st and 2nd.
Thứ Tư, 24 tháng 7, 2019
Teacher: "Hello class! What did you do on your weekend?"
Student: "My father fell into a pit"
Teacher: "Oh no! Is he OK?"
Student: "I think so, he stopped calling for help today."
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Magic beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof —and plummets 15 stories to his death.
The bartender shakes his head. “You know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A naked lady walks into a bar
A fully naked lady walks into a bar and sits down.
She calls up the bartender and asks for a whisky. The bartender looks at her, but does nothing. She asks again but gets the same response.
She asks him "whats the matter? you never seen a naked lady before?"
and the bartender responds "i'm just wondering how you're going to pay for your drink"
Thứ Ba, 23 tháng 7, 2019
Two brothers, 9 and 11, realized one day that they had never said a curse word and decided that in order to fit in, they had to upgrade their dirty vocabulary.
The next morning at breakfast, their mother asked the younger brother what he wanted to eat.
The younger brother replied "I want some Frosted Flakes, bitch."
The mother stood silent for a moment, and then smacked the boy on the back of the head. She turned to the older brother and asked what he wanted to eat.
He replied, "I'm not sure, but I definitely don't want no fucking Frosted Flakes."
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