"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
Thứ Sáu, 16 tháng 8, 2019
Possibly the greatest dad joke of my dad’s whole career
Preface: I’ve been sick in bed for 10 days with infectious mononucleosis or ‘mono’
So, Mom brought home some pie and she gave me a slice. I only had like half of it because it was making me nauseous so she decided to save it for me. But I guess Dad didn’t know that so he ate the rest of the piece. After he finished, Mom was like ‘did you just eat that pie from the fridge?’ And he was like yeah and she was like ‘that was the piece OP had eaten off of. You’re gonna get sick’
AND HE GOES
‘Well instead of mono now we’ll be a duo’
WITHOUT HESITATING. CHAMPION!
An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding
The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.
"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won't give you a ticket." The clown says "I don't have my equipment, it got sent ahead of me."
The trooper says excitedly "I've got some flares in the back of my car."
As the clown begins juggling the flares on the side of the road, a good-old boy, drunk off his ass, pulls in behind the trooper to witness the spectacle. After watching for a few minutes, the man then climbs into the back seat of the squad car. The trooper, having never seen a man arrest himself before, walks over to the man and asks "What are you doin, son?"
The man says "You may as well take me to jail now, 'cause I ain't gonna pass that test."
Hippopotamuses can outrun a human on land or in the water.
So if you’re in a triathlon against a hippo, you really have to make up time in the bicycle portion.
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