Two. One to promise a brighter future and one to screw it up.
Thứ Sáu, 23 tháng 8, 2019
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students...
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Little Johnny what his problem was so he replied, „I'm too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade anf I'm smarter than her too.“ The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal.
The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quite. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: „What is 3 x 3?“
Johnny: „9“
Principal: „6 x 6“
Johnny „36“
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher „I see no reason Johnny can't go on to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.“
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: „What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?“
Johnny: „Legs“
Teacher: „What do you have in your pants that I don't have?“ The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, „pockets“
Teacher: „What does a dog do that a man steps into?“
Johnny: „Pants“
Teacher: “What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?“
Johnny: “Gum“
Teacher: “Where do most women have curly hair?“
Johnny: “Africa“
Teacher: „What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?“
Johnny: „Firetruck“
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says „Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 6 questions wrong myself. But Johnny, let me ask you this last question: How in the world do you know all this?“
With a smirk on his face, Johnny replied: „This joke isn‘t OC, I have reddit in class“
Bush Jr., Obama, and Trump are standing before God...
God begins by asking Bush: "George, in what do you believe?"
Bush: "I believe in free trade and the USA as a strong nation".
God, seemingly impressed: "You may sit to my right".
Then God looks at Obama and asks "Barack, in what do you believe?".
Obama: "I believe in democracy, helping the poor and in world peace."
God is impressed: "You may sit to my left".
Then he turns to Trump, and asks: "Donald, in what do you believe?".
Trump: "I believe that you are sitting in my chair."
There was an old priest....
....Who got tired of hearing almost everyone in his parish confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll Quit this position!"
Since everyone liked him, they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age of 80.
A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"
A Priest, Rabbi and Atheist walk into a bar and each ask for a drink.
The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdainful, points to a sign clearly labelled: NO JOKES SERVED HERE
Without a fight the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging.
The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool.
Wiping the inside of a glass, the bartender approaches and asks the chicken “Are you part of this joke?”
“Yeah.” the chicken replies.
Again, he points to the sign: NO JOKES SERVED HERE
The chicken argues “Well then how’s a chicken supposed to get his beak wet?”
The bartender moves his pointed finger from the sign to the window.
“There’s another bar across the road.”
Đăng ký:
Nhận xét (Atom)