A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game

A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over he asks if she had a good time. She replied “yes that was fun, but I don’t understand why they do all of that for 25 cents”. The man, puzzled, asks “what do you mean?” To which the blonde replied “well the game started with a coin toss, and afterward they just ran around hitting each other screaming get the quarterback! get the quarterback!”...

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I have a fetish for writing the last paragraph of a paper.

I just came to that conclusion....

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Women are like swimming pools.

They cost a lot of money to maintain, considering the amount of time you spend inside them....

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A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting.

I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer....

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Why doesn't any man need more than one rooster?

A cock a dude'll do....

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The man who invented Velcro, died.

RIP....

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Grandpa was summoned for an audit.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’ ‘I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’ The auditor thinks for a moment and says, ‘Okay. Go ahead. ‘ Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite...

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