Man: My first wish is that I want all lawyers to disappear.
Genie: Done,now you have zero wishes left.
Man: What?! You can't do that,I still have my two wishes remaining.
Genie: Sue me.
Thứ Bảy, 14 tháng 9, 2019
John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding...
John: "Is there a problem officer?"
Cop: "You exceeded 80 in 55 zone. May I see your license?"
John: "ahhhh, why don't I spare you the trouble, officer? I don't have a license, so I shouldn't be driving this car that I jacked from this dude I just killed. The gun I used is right here in the glove box and his body is in that trunk"
Cop: "Holy shit!"
The cop contacts his PD and in moments there are more cops everywhere. The chief of police steps up.
Chief: "Sir, may I see your license?"
John: "Sure"
John had his license
Chief: "May I see the vehicle's owner registration?"
John: "Sure"
It was his car
Chief: "Could you open your glove box?"
John: "Sure"
There were no weapons
Chief: "Could you pop open your trunk?"
John: "Be my guest"
There were no bodies in the trunk
Chief: "Sorry to put you through this, but the officer who called me said you were driving without a license, you had stolen the car, you had a gun in the glove box, and the owner's dead body in the trunk"
John: "Yeah, I bet that lying son of a bitch also told you that I was speeding"
A waitress, on her last day, decides to walk to each of her tables and lift up her skirt to proudly proclaim,
"Super Pussy!". She continues to do this over and over to the horror of her customers, until she reaches a table which sat an elderly man. She approaches him and lifts up her skirt and, again, proclaims, "Super Pussy!" and awaits his reaction. The old man looks at her, then her pussy, then back at her and says, "I think I'll have the soup."
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