Funny Story

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Thứ Bảy, 21 tháng 9, 2019

I asked some painters to come paint my home the other day and they’ve just arrived. They’ve spent the day here and now they’re finishing up.

The head painter hands me the bill and I notice it says “$0”

I say “you guys did such a long tiring and fantastic job, why aren’t you charging me for the paint?”

The head painter looks at me and says,

“Don’t worry about the paint, it’s on the house”

My wife left me because I’m too insecure.

No wait, she's back.

She just went to make a cup of tea.

Thứ Sáu, 20 tháng 9, 2019

Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire...

...on average.

A man wins $100 000 at Las Vegas.

When he returns home he hides it in his backyard, only to wake up the next morning and find it stolen, with a trail of muddy footprints leading to the mute-deaf a few blocks away. Enraged, he enlists the help of the sign language professor next door, and together, the man armed, they confront the mute-deaf at his door.

"Tell him I want to know where he hid the money!" the man yells. The professor conveys this to the mute-deaf and he responds with sign language that he hid the money under the cherry tree in his backyard.

The professor turns to the man and says, "He won't tell you. He says that he'd rather die first."

I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on her face was priceless.

Most people are shocked when they find out...

...how incompetent I am as an electrician.

R Kelly changed the rap game

He took the art out of Rap Artist