Angrily, another patron gets up and yells back "Watch your mouth! That is offensive to me!"
The first man responds and laughs "Are you upset because I called you an asshole???!!!"
The angry patron says "No! I'm offended you compared me to a lawyer!"
Thứ Ba, 24 tháng 9, 2019
A blonde walks into a shop and wants a pair of alligator boots.
The shopkeeper tells her they do not sell expensive items to blondes.
After becoming very frustrated with the shopkeepers attitude the blonde declares. FINE ILL JUST GO CATCH AN ALLIGATOR AND GET MY OWN BOOTS!
The shopkeeper replied why don't you just try young lady with a smirk.
So the blonde heads out to the swamp absolutely determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day the shopkeeper drives by and noticed the Young lady waist deep in water with a shotgun in her hands.
He stops and watches as a very large alligator swims right at her. With lighting fast reflexes she throws the gun up and shoots the alligator killing it instantly.
He keeps watching as she drags the alligator to a pile of 6 or 7 more. As he rolls down the window to ask why she needs so many Gators for one pair of boots she rolls it over and shouts.
AHHHH THIS ONES BAREFOOT TOOO!
An Irishman went into the confessional.
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 9, 2019
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