A kid asks his mother why she has so many grey hairs...

The mother says "It's because you are so naughty." The kid replies "Well, you must have been a right twat; have you seen grandma?!"...

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Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even....

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Man to therapist : "I just fucked my fourth cousin."

Therapist : "Is that a problem for you?" Man : "The problem is that I'm counting."...

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Hagrid: "You're a unit of power Harry!"

Harry: "I'm a watt?"...

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Genie: You have 3 wishes

...but no wish for more wishes, more genies, or more lamps, ha! Me (being a smartass): I wish you were reaaaaally bad at counting. Genie: Sure boy, you have zero wishes left....

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Passenger asked a flight attended “How often do planes crash?”

Flight attended “Just once.”...

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Bro, you want this pamphlet?

Brochure...

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