"Would you sleep with me for one billion dollars?"

A man walks up to a woman at a bar and breaks the ice with: "Would you sleep with me for one billion dollars?" She ponders for a moment and answers: "Hmm, yeah, I would." "Would you sleep with me for $5?" "What do you think I am, a prostitute?" "I thought we already established that and were now haggling the price."...

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Sold." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy...

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On the one hand, I don't masturbate often.

On the other hand, I do....

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What I if told you

You read the title wrong...

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How did the doctor cure the invisible man?

He took him to the ICU...

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I got a handjob from a blind girl the other day...

She told me it was the biggest she'd ever had. I said, "Aww, you're just pulling my leg."...

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Just read a book about Stockholm syndrome

It started off badly, but by the end I really liked it....

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