Daughters vibrator

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. What are you doing?" she exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" he...

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What's the difference between a religion and a cult?

In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it is all bullshit. In a religion that person is dead....

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Someone stole my mood ring :(

I don’t know how I feel about that...

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A priest, a doctor and an engineer went golfing

They were stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!” The priest said, “Here comes the greens-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always...

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I think my dad might be gay.

Just not sure which one....

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Why are Americans bad at math?

Because the kids who skipped school survived...

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A cop pulls over a car with two priests.

The cop makes his way up to the window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.” The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. “We’ll do it.”...

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