Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards, they’d still be in the boat.

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How much do Chinese dumplings weigh?

Wonton.

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Two male deer are leaving a gay bar

One turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I just blew 20 bucks.”

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Husband: Why are the defective condoms lying on the sofa?

Wife: What?

Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying:

I will kill you, if you don't stop calling our children 'Defective Condoms'.

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i had sex for an hour and 24 seconds last night

thanks daylight savings

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Buck was selling his car and and girl name Kelly was interested in buying it. He said it’s $4,000. She thought a minute and said, “How about $3000 and a blow job?” He said that sounds great . . .

He was happy he got the Kelly Blew Buck price.

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I almost got raped in jail

My family takes monopoly too seriously

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