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Chủ Nhật, 13 tháng 10, 2019

Two Italians

Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…

But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

I know alot of jokes about unemployed people.

but none of them work.

A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

Guy walks into a bar...

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

  1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

  2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

  3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

  4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

  5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...

Never challenge death to a pillow fight

unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions

Why do police in Hong Kong go to work early?

They like to beat the crowd