My wife says that she will have butt sex if this hits the front page by the morning.

Please don't upvote she is on a business trip until tuesday.

Read More

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it’s expensive and the bulb has to want to change.

Read More

What's the fastest liquid on Earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

Read More

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"

"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."

Read More

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

An African student: What's food?

A European student: What's scarcity?

An American student: What are 'other countries'?

A Chinese student: What's 'my own opinion'?

Read More

What do you get if you divide a pumpkins circumference by its diameter?

Pumpkin π

Sorry.

Read More

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants

Bartender: "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

Pirate: "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"

Read More