Fuck you pear, you taste like shit
Thứ Ba, 22 tháng 10, 2019
Thứ Hai, 21 tháng 10, 2019
Three guys get stranded on an island where a cannibal tribe lives.
The tribe tells each of them that they’ll let them live if they each go find 10 fruits each, so the guys split up to go find some fruits.
The 1st guy comes back with apples and then the cannibal tribe tells him another part to the deal.
“You have to put all ten up your butt without making a noise or we’ll execute you.”
The man had no choice, so he starts putting the apples up his buy and gets to 4 before the pain is too much and he screams. The tribe executed him.
The 2nd guy comes back with berries. They tell him the same thing. He gets to 9 and is about to put the 10th in when he starts laughing hysterically. Executed.
The 1st and the 2nd guy are in the afterlife talking. The 1st says to the 2nd, “Why’d you laugh? You were so close?” And the 2nd guy says “Well, I saw the third and he had pineapples.”
So a guy and his gf are making out
and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.
After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.
“Oh shit, I have an important package coming, I have to get the door. I can’t wipe this blood off my face fast enough!” said the guy.
The gf tells him, “it’s ok, just tell the guy you were eating a jelly sandwich and didn’t have time to wipe your face.”
So the guy goes and opens the door to sign the package from the mailman but notices the mailman staring at him awkwardly.
“Oh this red stuff around my mouth is from my jelly sandwich, sorry about that.” says the guy.
The mailman, slightly confused, says “Ohhhh... so is that peanut butter on your forehead?”
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